Many people know they have values of family, home, good work ethic, and not stealing, cheating or lying.  However they often aren’t aware of the core values they hold dear.  If Tiger examined his core values, maybe he’d discover his above statement is inaccurate regarding his current situation.  Perhaps his core values include adventure and risk-taking and those may be higher-held than the values of loyalty and commitment. There’s no judgement here.  We all prioritize our values and make choices.  With awareness, we can make conscious choices aligned with our higher-held values, rather than our lower-held values.  When we honor our higher-held values, we cause less pain to ourselves and others.

Values aren’t right or wrong, they simply are, and they can change over time.  Knowing one’s values allows one to make conscious choices which honor those values and prevent a conflict such as Tiger’s current situation.  If he values adventure and risk-taking above loyalty and commitment, it may be fair to say he was not true to his core values when he chose to enter into a committed relationship and marry.  Which is the bigger transgression?  Adventure and risk-taking may be fitting core values, and advantageous, for a competitive professional athlete.

People find themselves at odds with their core values many times without realizing it and it’s often because of lack of knowledge of their core values.  Consider:

• The woman who spends “too much” time at work and not enough at home.  She may be honoring her core values of achievement and recognition which are met through work rather than home.
• The man who thinks life isn’t much fun any more, as he goes through the motions day-to-day.  He may not be honoring his core value of fun and he’s not looking for ways to incorporate fun into his life on a daily basis.
• The woman who never seems to rise to her potential may actually be honoring her values of community and partnership over accomplishment and responsibility.
• The man who is struggling with transition may find it harder than others because his core values of balance and security aren’t being met.

It’s important to understand what your core values are and your definition or meaning of each value.  With this awareness, you can make choices in alignment with your higher-held core values.  You can alleviate the feeling that life is unfulfilling, stressful and troublesome, as Tiger is presumably now experiencing.

Visit my website (www.asirk.com) and click on “About Coaching” to download your free Values Clarification Worksheet.

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What about other events and milestones you reach – how are they celebrated? Are you aware of them? Think about the myriad of choices you make each day and the ones you strive to make. Today I: exercised; learned how to create a website; approached someone to increase my network; was patient; let the dishes sit for 20 minutes to talk longer with my friend, significant other, child, parent; told someone no; drank more water; made a conscious choice to honor my values; smoked one less cigarette; spoke up in a meeting; laughed out loud; watched less TV; accepted a compliment; reused, recycled or reduced; stopped my gremlin from telling me I’m not capable or good enough; gave a customer (or sales person) direct eye contact; ate healthier; let someone else go first. You can think of many more.

These items are insignificant, you say. They may seem small; and yet, they can be the foundation for something much bigger! Little moments can have an impact on your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. You can be modeling behavior which gives others permission and courage to do the same. Take a moment to recognize what you accomplish and who you are being. Pat yourself on the back, share the achievement with someone else, write about it in your journal, tweet it, or put a purple star sticker on your calendar – like the ones that made you happy in grade school.

When you were a toddler, you received lots of encouragement to continue to attempt walking, despite the number of times you ended up on your bottom. People clapped, smiled and cheered for you and even held out toys for you to play with once you navigated your way to them. Over the years, the encouragement has become less and you’re expected to get off your bottom on your own. There’s nothing wrong with a little celebration for whatever you accomplish, and for however you get off your bottom! Shout YeeHAA! CELEBRATE!

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