Air Traffic Controller’s Kid at Work – Poor Back-up Plan or Something Else?

March 4th, 2010

The audio tapes have been making the news: A child giving directions to pilots at JFK airport.  The father is heard saying “this is what you get, guys, when the kids are out of school.”  (Interestingly the tapes occur around 8:00 p.m.  Is the child in night school or is dad bringing him to work because the child doesn’t have to get up in the morning for school?)  While some pilots sound amused, the FAA is investigating and says this “does not demonstrate the kind of professionalism expected from FAA employees”; the father and his supervisor have both been suspended.  At best, this may be a poor back-up plan when school is out, at worst, it’s another indicator of how far the pendulum has swung from common sense, good manners, strong work ethic, and thoughtful, responsible behavior.

I am part of the Baby Boomer generation, the “me” generation whose mottos included: Question the Establishment, Don’t Trust Anyone Over 30 and Turn On, Tune In, Drop Out.  Despite our self-absorbed interests and behavior, we’ve also had a huge impact on the women’s movement and race relations. There are a number of positive changes to our culture due to my generation.  As is common with change however,  sometimes the pendulum swings too far, and in this case, it appears through a lack of manners, respect, and common courtesy. Unfortunately, I think my generation has taught this to subsequent generations and it is getting worse, not better.

As a child, my co-horts and I were taught to shake hands, say “How do you do, Mr./Mrs. X?” and call elders by last name until given permission to use their first name.  Today, I am introduced to people’s children by first name only.  The children don’t extend their hands nor do they learn different ways (and reasons) to address people because that’s not what they’re taught.  In Driver’s Ed, we were taught to drive to the next exit or the next corner to turn around if we hadn’t moved over to the far right lane to exit the freeway, or realized belatedly our turn was just ahead.  Today, people quickly cut across two (or more) lanes of traffic to access the exit, and they hold up local traffic waiting for a break to move over to turn at this corner. When crossing a parking lot we watched for cars and took the shortest route to get out of their way, and we walked along the side by the parked cars, not down the middle of the lane where the cars were driving.  I can hear parents saying “Get out of the way, there’s a car coming!  Look where you’re going!”  Now people take their time, meandering diagonally through the parking lot or down the middle of the lane, seldom concerned whether there is a car following. (Hopefully it’s not a car with acceleration problems.)

The Air Traffic Controller is another example of lack of consideration for others.  If kids are out of school, a back-up plan is important, and infringing on your employer and co-workers is not the back-up plan. Without a back-up plan, you stay home with your child.  Kids get bored, they don’t sit still, their voices get loud, they have short attention spans and work isn’t a fun place for them for very long. You aren’t giving your full attention to your job if you are watching your child while at work.  Few co-workers will voice their disapproval and concerns about the disruption to the parent who brings the kid(s) to the office.

When appropriate, we can relax our standards whether it’s language, behavior, dress, or professionalism.  It’s a challenge to raise our standards if the basics weren’t there in the beginning.  I hope we Boomers, who received the gift of being taught these basics, can be better role models going forward.  There’s still time to share with others the reasons and how to demonstrate more polite, thoughtful, respectful, and responsible behavior when interacting at work, on the road, in the parking lot, wherever.

Tiger Woods Cheats and Isn’t True to His Values

December 2nd, 2009

“I have not been true to my values…” is part of Tiger Woods’ statement released today amidst the fallout from his November 27 early morning car crash.  The question is, which values does he mean?

Many people know they have values of family, home, good work ethic, and not stealing, cheating or lying.  However they often aren’t aware of the core values they hold dear.  If Tiger examined his core values, maybe he’d discover his above statement is inaccurate regarding his current situation.  Perhaps his core values include adventure and risk-taking and those may be higher-held than the values of loyalty and commitment. There’s no judgement here.  We all prioritize our values and make choices.  With awareness, we can make conscious choices aligned with our higher-held values, rather than our lower-held values.  When we honor our higher-held values, we cause less pain to ourselves and others.

Values aren’t right or wrong, they simply are, and they can change over time.  Knowing one’s values allows one to make conscious choices which honor those values and prevent a conflict such as Tiger’s current situation.  If he values adventure and risk-taking above loyalty and commitment, it may be fair to say he was not true to his core values when he chose to enter into a committed relationship and marry.  Which is the bigger transgression?  Adventure and risk-taking may be fitting core values, and advantageous, for a competitive professional athlete.

People find themselves at odds with their core values many times without realizing it and it’s often because of lack of knowledge of their core values.  Consider:

  • The woman who spends “too much” time at work and not enough at home.  She may be honoring her core values of achievement and recognition which are met through work rather than home.
  • The man who thinks life isn’t much fun any more, as he goes through the motions day-to-day.  He may not be honoring his core value of fun and he’s not looking for ways to incorporate fun into his life on a daily basis.
  • The woman who never seems to rise to her potential may actually be honoring her values of community and partnership over accomplishment and responsibility.
  • The man who is struggling with transition may find it harder than others because his core values of balance and security aren’t being met.

It’s important to understand what your core values are and your definition or meaning of each value.  With this awareness, you can make choices in alignment with your higher-held core values.  You can alleviate the feeling that life is unfulfilling, stressful and troublesome, as Tiger is presumably now experiencing.

Visit my website (www.asirk.com) and click on “About Coaching” to download your free Values Clarification Worksheet.

How do you prepare for a Phone Interview?

November 17th, 2009

Companies use phone interviews for a variety of reasons.  It could be to determine whether you have the skill set they’re looking for (your resume may not have been clear enough); it may be to assess your verbal communication skills, particularly if they are needed on the phone; it could be an easier, more effective and cost efficient way for them to start the interview process; and it could be to verify salary information to have a sense of whether you’re in their salary range. So how do you prepare for a phone interview?

Keep in mind this is an interview, the only difference is it’s being conducted on the phone rather than in person.  It’s important for you to be as focused, engaged  and prepared as you would if this were being held in the company’s offices.  The phone interview could last from 10-60 minutes, depending on the purpose, company and interviewer.

A great tip is to keep a copy of the job description, company information which you’ve researched and a copy of the resume you sent for that specific position in a file that’s easily accessible when you get a phone call.  Some companies will call to schedule a time in the future for the phone interview, and some will call hoping you’re available then.  If you’re caught off guard and would like a couple of minutes to gather your file, review the information and breathe to get focused, ask the person if you can call back in five minutes as you’re in the middle of something you need to finish.  Most will call you back or schedule a specific time.  They know they’re taking a chance of finding you available when they call if it’s not been scheduled previously.

A phone interview is really no different than the in-person except it’s over the phone.  You are going to be answering questions about your knowledge, skills and abilities and likely covering information on your resume.  Since you periodically review your resume and know the information on it, you’ll be able to answer questions without difficulty. If you don’t understand the question or are unsure what the person means, ask for clarification as you would if you were face-to-face. You may be asked what you know about the company and if you have any questions, so it may be helpful to keep your list of questions in your folder with the job description, company info and resume copy.

One of the most challenging aspects in the phone interview can be the actual phone connection.  Many people today use cell phones and think it’s fine to conduct business calls wherever they are.  Think twice about conducting a phone interview while you’re driving, getting gas, paying for parking, talking with the landscaper, feeding the bird or walking around your house.  If the connection is bad and you or the interviewer have to repeat a lot, you’re losing valuable time when you could be communicating substantive information and the interviewer  may have limited time.

If interviewing and getting a new position are important to you, think about how professional and prepared you appear in the phone interview.  If you’ve had an issue with plumbing and the plumber is on the way, it may be best to reschedule.  You wouldn’t bring the plumber, your kids or the bird with you to the company’s office for an interview, don’t “bring them with you” on the phone interview.  If you don’t have great cell reception wherever you plan to take the call, then access a landline for the phone interview or schedule for a time when you can use a landline.

Some people conduct their phone interview from their current place of employment.  Not a problem, unless you have to put the interviewer on hold to answer other phone calls or questions from your boss and co-workers.

Plan to be totally available to the interviewer with no distractions or interruptions and a great connection.  Have quick access to the job description, company info and your resume and be ready to talk about your accomplishments and your phone interview should go well.

Positive Thinking for a Better Life!

August 27th, 2009

I hope…  I wish…  If only…  These words often have a tinge of despair attached to them.  They are said very positively while all too often thinking “but it’s not likely to happen anytime soon for me.”  Have you heard the saying “You are what you think.”?  The rest of that Buddha quote is “And with your thoughts you make the world.”  This is pure Law of Attraction.  You get what you focus on.

Recently I was on a shuttle to the airport with two men I didn’t know.  One was very concerned he was going to miss his flight as he was running late.  I told him to be positive, to know he would make the flight.  He agreed and then said “but just in case, I’ll get my confirmation pulled up on my phone to re-book.”  The other man and I laughed and told him he wasn’t being positive.  Being positive means eliminating the doubt; not giving room for the “in case”, “what if” or “probably not” to slip in and settle in your thoughts.  When the doubt creeps in, it defeats the positive outcome you want.  Then when the positive doesn’t materialize, you acknowledge it with the thought “I knew it wouldn’t really happen.”  Be honest, you were thinking that all along.

I challenge you to a week, a day, an hour of positive, supportive thoughts and words.  Silence the negative, silence the doubt.  Be aware how often you allow the words you think and say to sabotage you, rather than support you!

Resume 101 – Tips – Part 2

August 17th, 2009

Last week I gave you some tips for your resume.  Here are a few more.

  • Put all the information on the pages and then work on your format.  Don’t get married to a format first.  What worked for you before may not work as well now.
  • Ensure there is a good balance between white and black space.  Don’t cram everything on one page and end up with a 1/4″ margin all the way around.  By putting all the information down first, you can play with format to determine if you should increase your font size and/or margins to have a good two page resume or if you should adjust your margins and/or font size down a bit to maintain one page.
  • Highly recommend you use an 11 pt font.  Don’t go smaller than a 10 pt font.
  • The rule of thumb for work experience is to go back 10-15 years.  If you have gaps of employment, you may be able to address those in your cover letter.
  • Do not put high school information on your resume unless you just graduated from high school and have no college.
  • List college if you’ve attended, even if you didn’t complete a degree.  Employers like to see some college attendance.  If you’ve attended multiple colleges over the years, consider showing the college that has the most relevance for the position you’re applying or the most recent college.  Do not list a degree if it hasn’t been completed. 
  • Proofread, double check, spell check and proofread again.  Yes, I mentioned this last week as well. It’s extremely important!

Surviving a Layoff and Staying Positive

August 13th, 2009

People have been laid off all around you and you’re having a tough time staying positive.  Everyone you talk to is worried about their job, or the job of someone they know, and it feels like you’re treading water while waiting for the other shoe to drop.   How do you stay positive?

First, give yourself a break.  It’s OK to be unsettled.  Remember to B R E A T H E.  Then figure out the strategies which will work best for you. 

  • Limit the amount of time in a day or week that you will feel down or worried.  Set a timer or watch the clock and when your time is up, perk up!
  • Find a person or a group with whom you can vent or commiserate.  Again, it’s important to limit the time you spend in this pit; you don’t want to emotionally drain someone else.  Give the other person an opportunity to vent, again with an eye on the clock, so you aren’t emotionally drained. Be sensitive to doing this with work colleagues to prevent managers from viewing you as the ring leader of “Survivors Against Change.”
  • Make yourself your priority.  Now is the time to ensure you take care of you.  Exercise, eat healthier, drink water, get enough sleep, meditate, and spend time with family and friends.  If you have a tendency to withdraw when things get tough, determine if it really benefits you (it rarely does). Make the effort to stay engaged, if only with yourself.  You don’t have to join a health club at this point or go on a new diet.  It’s important to implement healthy steps you can live with which become part of your routine.  Self care pays off physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
  • Look for ways to help others at work.  Brainstorm ways to streamline processes, particularly if you’re now doing more with less.  It’s a great time to find out what everyone does with the report that’s distributed each week… is anyone reviewing it or could it be discontinued?  Be known as the optimistic person in the office.  Avoid standing around in a small group talking quietly; people are nervous enough without wondering what you are talking about.
  • Talk to a counselor, spiritual advisor, or use your company’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP).  EAPs are confidential and typically no cost for initial visits.  Use your benefits.
  • Join a Book Club.  Take Salsa lessons.  You don’t have to spend a lot of money and you may find groups you can join (or start) for no money.  Does your library offer a book club?  How about the local book store?  Learn to play bridge at lunch with someone who already knows how.  Keep your mind engaged.
  • Volunteer.  Someone can benefit from your time and your talent and it may help you put things in perspective.  Google your town and “volunteer opportunities”  to see what options may be available or check www.volunteermatch.org
  • Laugh.  Research shows that 10-20 minutes of even fake laughter can have a profound effect on life.

Remember, attitudes are contagious.  Make yours positive and worth catching!

Informational Interviews

August 11th, 2009

Recently I’ve been asked about informational interviews.  Here are the basics about informational interviews.

An informational interview allows you to contact a person (an expert) to gather information about a position or industry.  It’s best if you have a referral introduction, but it’s not required.  Do NOT ask for a job at this time.  This is an opportunity for you to gather specific information to help you make decisions about this type of position or industry.  It also provides an opportunity for someone else to become aware of you, should an opening come up down the road, so be professional. 

The interview should take no more than 20-30 minutes.  Be sensitive to the person’s time.  If they are willing to talk to you when you call to schedule the informational interview, be prepared with your questions.  Since you ask the questions, the other person will do most of the talking, providing answers to your questions.

This is your opportunity to ask things you wouldn’t ask when you interview for a position.  Consider an informational interview with Mac for the position of B2B marketer.  Questions for Mac may include:

  • What are the typical responsibilities of a B2B marketer? 
  • What type of background do you typically look for when hiring a B2B marketer? 
  • Are there any types of degrees or certificates you prefer when hiring a B2B marketer? 
  • How long does a B2B marketer usually remain in the role? 
  • What makes a successful B2B marketer? 

Thank Mac for his time.  Ask him if there are others he thinks would be a good resource for you as you gather information.  If Mac provides you with the name of Sally (and contact information), ask if it’s OK for you to say Mac gave you the referral.  Pay attention to what Mac says about Sally.  He may say she has a great sense of humor, or wrote the book on B2B marketing.  When you contact Sally, let her know Mac referred you and said she was an expert in the area.   The ability to initiate contact with a referral AND a compliment, makes it much more likely to get someone to schedule time to talk with you.

A couple of other tips.  Ask Mac if you can stay in touch and call him again if you develop additional questions as you continue gathering information.  Don’t abuse this privilege!

Send a thank you.  Hand written notes are incredibly well received and very rare, so you’ll stand out in Mac’s mind.  Periodically touch base with Mac.  When you do find a position, let Mac and others know.  Even if you’ve decided to change your direction and become a financial advisor rather than a B2B marketer, let Mac know where you are.  You’ve started to develop a great network.  It’s important to maintain your network, as you never know when you can help someone else, or they can help you. 

Resume 101 – Tips

August 10th, 2009

The challenge with resumes is there are a lot of “best practices” and not a lot of hard and fast rules.  If you give your resume to ten different recruiters you’ll likely get ten different opinions.  Those best practices are there for a reason.

  • Use a clean font like Tahoma or Arial; a sans serif font.  It’s easier for a recruiter to read when going through hundreds of resumes.
  • Use bullet points rather than the paragraph format.  Again, it’s easier for recruiters to pick out the key points.
  • Start each bullet point with an action verb if at all possible.  If your verb is “managed” or “administered” is there another verb that is more descriptive?  Collected, gathered, collated, tracked, etc. may be better.
  • Think about the results for each bullet point and describe them if applicable.  Recruiters and hiring managers want the “oh wow” or “so what” factor.  Tell them what you did that sets you apart from other candidates.
  • No more than two pages, unless you’re in IT or academia.  Wonder what a typical resume might look like for your position or industry?  Try googling to find out.  e.g. inside sales resume, direct sales resume, attorney resume.  Review a few to ensure you’re seeing similarities.
  • Proofread, spell check and proofread again.  Ask family and friends to proofread for you.  Read it out loud, and read it backwards.  You can’t proofread it enough!  Miniscule mistakes may cost you.  You get only one chance to make a good first impression.  Many employers think if you make a mistake on this important marketing tool you are using to promote yourself, your work product will be the same (less than 100%) or worse when working on their behalf and they’ll pass you by for the person whose resume has no errors.

More resume tips next week.

Sleep Better with Affirmations

August 7th, 2009

Do you go to bed at night thinking about all the things you meant to do during the day, or the one or two things that didn’t go as well as they might?  You lie there, going over and over what you wish you had said or done.  You think about ways you could have completed something better… how you could have improved an outcome.  And then those are the thoughts that wind their way into your subconscious mind as you drift off to sleep.  How restful will your sleep be?

Here’s another option and it makes so much more sense!  When your head hits the pillow, recognize all the positive things that happened during the day.  Recall the calmness you chose when you let the person queeze in front of you on the freeway.  Think about the compliment you received from a friend.  Remember the pride at being given a special project at work.  Feel the love from caring family members and know how appreciated you are.  Let those positive experiences turn in to affirmations about how worthy, loved, capable and competent you are.  What a gift to yourself to have your subconscious marinate in those thoughts while you’re sleeping!   

Sweet dreams!

Celebrate ALL Life’s Moments

August 6th, 2009

There have been lots of celebrations among my friends recently. New babies, new grandchildren, college degrees, retirement, new homes, new jobs, successful surgeries, celebrations of life, birthdays, weddings and anniversaries. Yesterday, many Americans celebrated along with the families of Laura Ling and Euna Lee when they returned home safely from North Korea. You know these momentous occasions typically include: Presents, food, guests, large gatherings, lots of good wishes, memories, hugs, compliments, laughter, relief, tears, joy, pictures, video, and sharing the news with family, friends and sometimes strangers. (The availability of social media means it can be shared with people you don’t even know.)

What about other events and milestones you reach – how are they celebrated? Are you aware of them? Think about the myriad of choices you make each day and the ones you strive to make. Today I: exercised; learned how to create a website; approached someone to increase my network; was patient; let the dishes sit for 20 minutes to talk longer with my friend, significant other, child, parent; told someone no; drank more water; made a conscious choice to honor my values; smoked one less cigarette; spoke up in a meeting; laughed out loud; watched less TV; accepted a compliment; reused, recycled or reduced; stopped my gremlin from telling me I’m not capable or good enough; gave a customer (or sales person) direct eye contact; ate healthier; let someone else go first. You can think of many more.

These items are insignificant, you say. They may seem small; and yet, they can be the foundation for something much bigger! Little moments can have an impact on your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. You can be modeling behavior which gives others permission and courage to do the same. Take a moment to recognize what you accomplish and who you are being. Pat yourself on the back, share the achievement with someone else, write about it in your journal, tweet it, or put a purple star sticker on your calendar – like the ones that made you happy in grade school.

When you were a toddler, you received lots of encouragement to continue to attempt walking, despite the number of times you ended up on your bottom. People clapped, smiled and cheered for you and even held out toys for you to play with once you navigated your way to them. Over the years, the encouragement has become less and you’re expected to get off your bottom on your own. There’s nothing wrong with a little celebration for whatever you accomplish, and for however you get off your bottom! Shout YeeHAA! CELEBRATE!